You Have the Power. Realize It!

I’m a member of the Entrepreneur Organization in Seattle.  EO is a global organization with over 8,500 members worldwide with a vision to inspire the most influential group of entrepreneurs in the world. 

Last week I attended a Global Leadership Conference in Vancouver, BC.  I was there to become a better leader in all aspects of my life and look to my peers as inspiration for achieving greatness.  Entrepreneurship can be a lonely road and there are thousands of reasons why I might fail.  But the one reason that will keep me coming back to drive success is:  Belief.  I’m not talking dogmatic belief.  I’m talking the belief that comes from knowing that I can accomplish anything and that when the chips are down I will fight harder.

I had the pleasure of listening to a speaker at the conference, an author by the name of Gina Mollicone-Long, talk about achieving greatness and I want to pass on some of this learning to you.  I left inspired with the realization that success is within my grasp and how I frame what I want will determine how I react to the problems I face.  Here are some of my key takeaways:

Failure:  Failure means something you didn’t get that you wanted your way. It’s not personal.  It just means you didn’t get it your way and when we don’t get things our way we face a slippery slope otherwise known as “Hell”.  Your inability to get what you want is that what you want is not bigger than what stands in your way.   It is my job to win.  So when I fail I get up and win.

Like Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”  Don’t get caught in the cycle of trying to change your actions and expect a different outcome.  It won’t happen.

Results = Power:  Accountability equals power.  Results equal power.  Every time you empower the reason you have no power.  You give away power by not choosing your focus.  Trying is not a result.  Trying is an attempt.  There is no place in the world called “try”.  Power is a “yes” or a “no”.  You give away power by refusing to take it yourself and owning it.

Self Esteem:  Self-esteem comes from being face down in the mud and trying to get back up.  Winning does not build character. 

Getting Results:  Results are a function of thoughts, feelings and action.  Most people that don’t get the results think they just need to change the action.  You have to go back to thoughts and start over.  Throw away the cake if you forgot an ingredient.  Don’t just try to go back and stuff in the missing item.  The cake will never be great.   Often times we want to emulate the results of others so we try to copy their actions.  Unfortunately it is not enough to copy actions.  You need to copy who they are being.

Be. Do. Have:  Most of us think that we need to have in order to “be” in a certain place in our life.  Not true.  Be what you want to be first and then you will have.  We are human “beings” after all.  Choose your desired emotion first and feel that now.

Reality:  We delete, distort and generalize bits of information to fit our model.  There are millions of bits of data all around us but we can only take in a fraction of those at a time and we tend to intake only that which we want to see.  Isn’t that why conflict occurs because two people are looking at seemingly the same situation but interpreting in totally different ways?  Check out this video and you’ll see what I mean.

Self Reliance:  You can’t fix your hair by combing the mirror.  Only you are in charge of yourself.  When you can’t change a situation the only thing left to change is yourself.

What More Can I Be Doing?

Mike Siegel /  The Seattle Times

Yesterday I went to the memorial service for my Great Uncle, Jack Benaroya.   It was an amazing display of support for a man who inspired the Seattle Community to embrace industry, arts, science, and humanity.  With thousands of people in the Symphony Hall, family shared experiences that painted Jack as an extremely hard worker, dedicated to giving back to a region that gave him so much.   Over the years I would meet with Jack and he would share some great one-liners.  Here are a few that I remember and a couple that were shared during the Memorial service: 

1.       The harder I work the luckier I am

2.       Say what you mean and mean what you say

3.       One bad deal can wipe out a reputation that took years to build

4.       Let’s get together and lie to each other for awhile

5.       Philanthropy is the rent you pay for taking space on this earth

6.       A gift is an investment in other people's lives

I have been thinking a lot about the events of yesterday and it has me pondering so many questions:

1.  What more can I be doing?  Am I doing enough?

2.  Should I be aspiring to having thousands attend my memorial?

3.  What is my legacy?

4.  Should I even be worrying about this stuff right now?

Maybe no other questions matter than the fundamental question of, "Am I doing enough?"  Let me share an experience. Last week I had the pleasure of attending a Global Leadership Conference for the Entrepreneur Organization.  It is an annual event that brings together entrepreneurs from all over the world that want to lead other entrepreneurs in their local markets.  Every year the conference invites a keynote to share and this year John O’Leary was invited.

When John was 9 he inadvertently set himself on fire, burned his entire body, burned down his house and should have died.   John lived to share how the power of love and the “power of one” gave him the strength to survive. The Power of One is about asking a fundamental question, "What More Can I Do?"  What more could his family and friends do to give John the inspiration to live?   John's story of triumph left me with feelings of hope and regret which were magnified at Jack’s memorial service yesterday.

Why regret?  There is so much more that I want to do and I don’t know if I’m doing enough.  Maybe I feel this way because the shoes of the Benaroya legacy in this community are large (Uncle Jack wore a size 13 shoe).  Maybe I am struggling to find that balance of family, entrepreneurship, and philanthropy but haven’t found the zone...yet.  Maybe there have been missed opportunities to prioritize extended family but in the hustle and bustle of life it does not get prioritized.  It is a privilege to be able to contemplate these topics and use it as a springboard for action.  I don't have answers yet but I'm zeroing in on the right questions to ask.

Let's talk about hope.  John O’Leary lay in bed for months with only a 1% chance of living.  When he asked his mom, "Am I going to die?" she said, "Do you want to die?"  Hope is not measurable.  Only the results of your actions are.  My hope is that I can do more for this community, for my family and extended family, and for myself.  Every day I know I can do more.  I look at the tremendous contributions of my Great Uncle Jack or the perseverance of John O’Leary and I know that I can do more.  I won't get there by finding more hours in the day. I will have to work smarter, prioritize better, and focus on the critical areas in my life that are important to the impact I want to make.  

If I can do more so can you.  What more can you be doing?  Thank you Uncle Jack for giving me the opportunity to ask tough questions and hopefully be better for the actions that I take.    Thank you John O’Leary for choosing to live.  

Naturopathy to Survive SXSW

A great recommendation from my friend Chad Aschtgen, N.D. on how to survive SXSW the Natural Way.


My “Super Duper Conference Survival Plan” is as follows and in order of priority:

1. EHB – two capsules three times daily with food, to avoid upset stomach (okay to do three caps AM & PM).  For anti-microbial activity (gut and respiratory tract).  

• More info here: http://www.integrativeinc.com/Products/Products-by-Health-Concern/Immune-and-Respiratory/Respiratory-Ear-Nose-and-Throat/166007-EHB.aspx

2. ProFlora Concentrate – one capsule daily, with or without food.  To prevent gut and respiratory tract infections, especially when traveling to new places.

• More info here: http://www.integrativeinc.com/Products/Products-by-Health-Concern/Digestion-and-Gastrointestinal/Gas-Bloating-and-Occasional-Indigestion/74369-Probiotic-Pearls-Pro-Flora-Concentrate.aspx

3. N-acetyl (L)-Cysteine (NAC) – one 500-600mg capsule twice daily. The brand doesn’t matter on this one either, but ITI has this too.  This helps to reduce respiratory infections.

• More info here:  http://www.integrativeinc.com/Products/Products-by-Health-Concern/Daily-Nutrition-and-Healthy-Aging/Oxidative-Stress-and-Photo-Aging/226002-NAC-N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine.aspx

4. B Complex – one capsule twice daily with food, to avoid upset stomach.  To support energy and help tolerate physical and psychoemotional stress.

• a product I like is by the same company that makes the above: http://www.integrativeinc.com/Products/Products-by-Health-Concern/Energy-Enhancement-and-Fatigue/Energy/216007-Spectra-B.aspx

5. Vitamin C – 1,000-2,000mg twice daily.  Decrease dosage if you get gas or loose stool.  Any brand is fine.

6. Melatonin – 2-3mg 20-30 minutes prior to bedtime to help get a full nights sleep, especially when traveling to and back from a different time zone. Any brand.

So that’s the supplement plan I’d recommend as we discussed this week!  I would (almost) guarantee you’d fare so much better with the above during the SXSW weekend and upon your return home with this plan in place.  I’d start ASAP and continue for a week after getting home.

Perhaps even more importantly though while you’re away: be sure to drink lots of water!  Eat protein with every meal (3x/day).  Get some physical activity, even a 20 minute walk in the AM, and if possible afternoon.  Don’t mix your liquors and stay away from sweet drinks...  I know how you love an appletini! 

Do Less Faster

A solid book has been written by Techstars leaders, Brad Feld and David Cohen titled, Do More Faster. The book synthesizes the key ingredients necessary to start and scale a business and reduce the risk of failure. I have been thinking a lot about that title recently since I have made a pledge this year to actually Do Less Faster. Part of me feels like I am shortchanging my goals but I think the opposite is true. Why will doing less make me more successful this year and why might you want to consider it as well?

1. Focus on the Critical Few. Ignore the Trivial Many. Thank you to my mentor, John Harnish, for burning this into my brain as it sits in a plaque prominently on his desk. It works. Look at your calendar and cancel your trivial many.

2. I Suck at Multi-Tasking and So Do You. Stop kidding yourself. You can either push a bunch of things an inch or one thing a mile. Get the noise off your plate and start building the inertia for your one thing and do it well.

3. Prioritize Life Equities. Doing less will afford me the opportunity to invest more in other areas of my life and will make me happier, more inspired, engaged, and clear. I will do more this year in family, social, spiritual, and community. I’m historically a sleep and work guy. Not sure that’s the right formula.

4. Scarcity. Be less available. If you’re always available to help other people achieve their objectives, you won’t have enough focus to achieve your own. Know your value, where you need to be and manage your time efficiently.

5. Think Deeper or Just Think. Freeing up a bit of time from “doing” affords more time for “thinking”. What happened to doing more thinking? If all you do is process work you aren’t going to achieve greatness. Think more and you can do less.

6. Build Friendships, not Just Business Relationships. Create enough time for yourself to actually build friendships in business. It’s not “just business” if you want to build an enduring and successful career. Having the time to create experiences and stories is what forges friendships and that rarely happens over the course of a business dealing.

Eliminating the activities that keep me from hitting my do less goals is essential. 2012 will be a year of doing less and accomplishing a whole lot more!

Shout Out to a Good Business Partner

I am going to do a quick shout out to my business partner, Marcelo Calbucci. He and I have been working together for about 9 months and we are at a place where conflict can be well managed. I am impressed that we can disagree, move on, and get back to the business of business without a bunch of personal baggage. It is super refreshing and I am increasingly grateful. I have been thinking about what is making our relationship work and it comes down to these factors that you might want to consider for your own business relationship:

1. Complementary Skills. Generally we stay out of each other's way and respect the strengths of the other. We have clear enough division of responsibility that there is significant autonomy.

2. Knowing His Family. Listen, that's important. He has a lovely wife and two beautiful children. He must be a pretty good guy to land a spouse and raise decent offspring. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

3. Presume Good Intent.  I am confident that we both want to create success at EveryMove. Sure, we may sometimes have different views on how to get there but there is genuine trust that we want similar outcomes. When things go awry, I presume good intent rather than fuming.

4. Consider the Possibility that You're Wrong. There is a time to be principled in a belief and there is a time to be open to alternative points of view. Staying open and asking questions not only drives better outcomes but builds buy-in.

5. Clear Goals. Know what success looks like in 30/60/90 days and beyond (if possible). By being on the same page we can get there faster and send a message to the team of alignment.

Sometimes you can only savor functional relationships when you hvae experienced the alternative. I appreciate the investment Marcelo and I have made to prioritizing our relationship. EveryMove will be better because of it.

If You Can’t Grow the Pie, Tread with Caution

I am a pretty open book. I think if you met me you would see quickly that my agenda is to “grow the pie”* of opportunity, not necessarily take more slices than you. I think it makes a lot of people uncomfortable or skeptical. I don’t know if it has made me a stronger leader yet because the world can be pretty unforgiving if you don’t look out for #1. I’ve tried to live my life with a “grow the pie” strategy but it’s really hard. Why?

Not everybody wants to grow the pie. Some people believe strongly that they need to operate in a zero sum framework (The pie is fixed and I will fight for what I need until I’m satisfied . You can have what is leftover). You see this all the time in personal and business relationships and it stinks. It may be economically rational in the short term but jeopardizes long term relationships.

People are skeptical. Have you ever noticed when you let someone borrow something or you give in on a particular discussion that they become skeptical that you have an alternative motive? “Why would you do that? What’s your angle? This is going to come back to bite me isn’t it?” This fear also really stinks. It’s unproductive. I once had a meeting where the guy said, “Let’s grab lunch and spend some time lying to each other.” It actually took me awhile to process that but his attitude was that basically people put on a front that is driven by their agenda and will say what they need to say to move that agenda forward.

We are Animals at the core. We may have migrated in packs but at the end of the day we are animals that compete for food, for mates, for territory. That is how we have survived this long. The nicest animals in the jungle often starve or get eaten. You can’t dismiss evolution.

I am also willing to recognize that maybe I am too willing too quickly to create a win-win before we’ve done the “dance” of positioning our respective strengths and values. Maybe there is a better strategy where I should be less conciliatory at first but come around once I have drawn in the other person to really want what I have rather than collaborating early to determine if our goals are aligned.

I have had some issues come up recently that have made me self-reflect. It made me question whether my model of willingness to create a win-win is trumped by “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. I will write a post on the circumstances of this in the near future but suffice it to say that yes, the squeaky wheel gets the grease (in the short term).

The best solution is to avoid surrounding yourself with squeaky wheels. The problem is that you don’t always know who they are (because there are no squeaks in a new car) which makes it really hard to be prescriptive on the tell-tale signs to consider (unless they give it away by saying things like “It’s not personal. It’s just business”). I think it’s easier to know who they aren’t. Here is my filter:

1. Self Reflection: Do these people share experiences that show they learned something about themselves? Are they willing to acknowledge a situation arose where they might have contributed to a less than ideal outcome?

2. Vulnerability: Are these individuals willing to ask questions to gain clarity and understanding rather than gloss over a point for the fear of looking “stupid”? Do these individuals share something about themselves where you look at them in the eye and see who they really are?

3. Willingness to Listen: Do these people ask questions and give you the space to answer? Do they listen with intent rather than thinking about the next thing they are going to say to sound smart?

4. Thinking Long Term: Are you able to talk beyond the immediate business relationship and what the longer term goals are? Is there a different way to frame the opportunity (and in fact, grow the pie) but contemplating a relationship to extend over multiple business or personal dealings?

5. Wanting to Know You Beyond the Business Terms: Break bread. I’m a big fan of breaking bread (have a meal). I also think it is a strong signal if you meet their spouse or members of the family. Barriers are broken when someone gives you a lens into the lives of their loved ones.

6. No One is “Selling”: Your best “deals” will come when you aren’t even selling. If someone is selling you (which you can tell) then your radar should be way up.

I am much more attuned to finding these people now and really grateful when I do. I tell them that I’m grateful. I look them in the eye and thank them. I care about them and their success. It makes me happy. It makes me confident that I will make an impact because I’m not going to be isolated on an island long term.

My advice is find these people and build a lasting relationship. Tell them that you care and you are invested in mutual success. Be real and you will be rewarded many times over. I’d love to hear your stories of “growing the pie”!

*grow the pie is the concept that there is not a fixed outcome but that there are a range of bigger and better outcomes achievable if people are willing to collaborate on goals and objectives.

Run Your Own Race

Photo by: Charlie Llewellin

I received some great advice recently from a friend and mentor. He was talking to me about our business, EveryMove, and he said, “Russell, you need to run your own race. Yes you are going to get pulled in a bunch of directions and people will ask you why you aren’t doing this or that, but you need to run your own race.” Actually thinking about this concept makes me a bit emotional. It’s powerful on so many levels and really stopped me in my tracks. I’m going to write a blog post on EveryMove about this concept for the business but for now I want to focus on what it means as an individual to “Run My Own Race” and some thoughts around that. Running my own race means:

Take Water Breaks:  No one can survive without stopping to drink water, assessing strategy, checking problem areas, and just getting their head back in the game.  Do you take enough water breaks or do you wait until that leg of the race is over to rehydrate?  If you do, trust me, that’s a bad strategy.  Why?  Because when you start to feel thirsty it’s too late.  Be willing to stop, look around, and THINK.

Confidence That I Am As Prepared As Anyone.  If it’s my race, shouldn’t I be prepared as anyone else?  There might be other runners in the event but damn it, this is my race.  People are looking to me for the route, to make sure we don’t miss any turns, and if we do we will get back on track.  It is okay to not know exactly where the finish line is but it’s not okay to be unprepared to figure it out.  The race itself is just the output of the right amount of preparation.

It’s my Race.  Not Yours.  How many times have people tried to take over your race or suggested there is a different race you should be running?  The worst thing you could do if you are trying to establish your domain of expertise is look at someone else’s race and think that’s a better event for you.  Know which race you are running.  I can’t the run of my peers, my extended family, or the race that I think other people think I should run.  If you want to hop on my course, great.  If you don’t, I don’t care.

It’s a Marathon and Not a Sprint.  This one is hard because we are conditioned to “finish” quickly and succeed.   What’s interesting is that evolution would suggest we aren’t sprinters at all but rather our success has come from being able to outlast other animals, wear them down and then go in for the strike.  A marathon takes planning, patience, mental fortitude, and a heck of a good strategy.  You have to plan not for the next couple of miles but how to avoid “hitting the wall” which often happens around mile 18 of a marathon.  The other thing here is that while the finish of a marathon is exciting, it’s actually around miles 8-14 when you get in your stride, maybe strike up a conversation with someone else, look around, and just feel grateful to be able to do this.  What mile are you at?  Does it matter?

Make Sure my Support Crew is Ready.  If you think you can do this race on your own you are sorely mistaken.  And I’m not talking about your colleagues.  I am talking about your family.  Wow, that was an underestimate.   I did not fully grasp how much impact my race has on my family but I see it now.   At the beginning they are fully equipped to support and encourage.  As the race turns into a longer distance journey, the support and supplies can start to waiver.  At a particular point the support can tell you that they are going to stop supporting.  So the best way to mitigate that risk is to not think of your support crew as support.  They are integral to the race.  You will not succeed without them and they must be respected, supported, encouraged, and committed to.  In fact, support should be replaced with team!

Celebrate Successes Along the Way.  If you are focused on end points and only once you cross the finish line can you celebrate, take that trip, and reward yourself, you will be sorely disappointed.  What is the finish line anyways?   You may tend to focus on all the things that you need to fix but what about celebrating all of the things that are going great?  Celebrate those with fanfare. It will make you a lot more interesting and fun to be around.  There will be plenty of time to get to the next leg of the race without losing any ground.

So the big question that I’m asking is, “WHAT IS THAT RACE AGAIN?”  Seriously, I’m at the end of the post and I’m not sure I even defined the race and this may be the most important consideration of all.  What is your race?